Coming Home
by LadyChakotay
Summary: The senior crews thoughts as they see Earth for the first time in seven years.


This is the obligatory 'They make it home' story that almost every author eventually writes.Well ~ it's more of a series of vignettes than a story really.But you know what I mean.This little ditty explores the thoughts and feelings of the senior crew as they first lay eyes on Earth.I didn't include how they get home.Why, you ask?Because it really doesn't matter!I'm going for the emotions here people!But I know how anal retentive we Trekkers can be … so, if you absolutely must have an explanation, you may choose from the list below.Have fun!

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_A.__The traveled through the ever-elusive yet completely predictable wormhole, discovered by our very own Seven of Nine.Thus, providing yet another reason for the cameraman to grace us with more tight shots of her torpedo taa-taas and Borg behind.(Forgive me, Jeri.)_

_B.__They received a transwarp coil as a Prixin gift from one of the now friendly Borg cubes liberated in UZII.Resistance is no longer futile.Would you like to be assimilated?_

_C.__Lieutenant Barclay gained incredible self-confidence after finally convincing Deanna Troi to sleep with him (Oh come on!Like you haven't noticed how bad he wants her!Please!).He invented a _**insert technobabble here**_ and was hailed as the hero who brought the legendary Voyager home.That is, until Will Riker tore his legs off and beat him to death with his own limbs._

_D.__(My personal favorite.)Captain Janeway finally gives in and has some omnipotent nookie with Q in exchange for that ticker tape parade he keeps offering.(Sorry, Chakotay.)I mean, he has it for her something fierce, and well… let's face it.Our beloved Kathryn Janeway needs some serious lovin' after seven years in the DQ with nothing but a hologram.(Sorry, Kate.)_

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_DISCLAIMER:Star Trek: Voyager and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount and Viacom.No infringement intended.And as far as I'm concerned, they can keep Boobie Barbie…I mean Seven.I just want Chakotay.MMMMMMMM!_

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_This story is dedicated to my very dear, but very trek deficient friend who said, "Janeway must be a cool captain.She has GREAT hair!"_

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_"We're entering the Terran System, Captain." Tom Paris heard the words leave his lips but still couldn't believe he was saying them.The voice belonged to him, but the moment belonged to all of them._

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_The bridge was silent. Commander Chakotay was sure he could've heard the proverbial pin drop as the tiny, twinkling dot grew larger and larger on the view screen.It changed before their eyes, undergoing a metamorphosis from the illusory, out of reach planet of their most treasured memories to the very real, very tangible Earth in all its breath-taking blues and greens.It was there, looming magically before them.And they stared at it, each one of them, as they held their collective breath.They were afraid to blink, afraid that it would disappear from them as it had so long ago – a lifetime ago it seemed._

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_They all watched in silent reverence as she stood and moved gracefully to the center of the command level, her shoulders back and her head held high.She moved with such dignity – she who was their leader, the one who pushed them to keep going when they thought they could go no further.Captain Kathryn Janeway, she had promised them this moment, promised to see them safely home.She refused to give up, and that earned her the love and devotion of her crew. _

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_Her arms hung tightly against her sides.The slight clenching and unclenching of her fists bore the only evidence of the turbulent emotion she was containing within her diminutive frame._

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_"Assume a standard orbit, Mr. Paris." She said, her voice strong and full of pride."Take us home."_

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_HARRY KIM ~_

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_I've played this scene out in my head more times than I can even remember.Rehearsed every possible scenario for our return that I could wrap my mind around.I guess I always thought that I would be flooded with emotion at the very sight of Earth.But now that it's here, I think I'm so overwhelmed by the enormity of it that all I can seem to feel is a surge of adrenalin. _

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_My hands tremble as I work my station, maybe for the last time, and I wonder briefly what will become of us.This odd little family we have become.What will become of the former Maquis?Of Seven and Icheb?And what about the doctor?Is Earth ready for traitors turned officers, liberated drones striving to obtain humanity, and a sentient hologram?There are so many possibilities that my mind is reeling._

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_I glance at the captain.Her back is to me.I can't see her face at all.But in the seven years I've stood at this station I've learned to read her body language.Sometimes I swear I can tell what she's thinking as I stare at the back of her head.Right now, she's standing tall and proud.She seems larger than life to me, she always has.But as I watch, her shoulders tremble slightly and she clasps her hands behind her back tightly.She's trying to hide her shaking.She reminds me of a long distance runner on her last lap of the race.The finish line is in sight, and she pulls out every last ounce of strength from somewhere deep inside, pushing herself that last stretch until she can lay her burden down.I feel honored to stand on her bridge and watch it happen._

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_I can see the nervousness on the faces of my friends as we enter orbit around Earth.A lot has probably changed in the years we've been gone.I understand their fears, but I guess I don't share them.I'm one of the lucky ones.I have a family waiting for me, and I know they'll be proud of who I've become.I feel a twinge shoot through my stomach as I think about where Libby might be right now, and about seeing my parents again.Man, I can almost smell mom's apple pie from here!_

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_TUVOK ~_

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_While I am without question a native of Vulcan, I did spend many years on Earth during my tenure with Starfleet.In addition, I have spent the last seven years aboard this vessel among a largely human crew._

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_As a result, I have come to appreciate the unique qualities possessed by this often volatile species.While they lack the mental discipline of a Vulcan child, I have found that humans often use their emotions as a catalyst for achieving a difficult goal or overcoming an obstacle._

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_That is certainly the case in this situation.The crew's emotional attachment to this planet has served to fuel their determination and courage in the face of less than encouraging odds.Their steadfastness and dedication to seeing this planet again has been… remarkable.I am pleased to be present as they see their goal to fruition._

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_I am anticipating a reunion with my wife, T'Pel, and our children.They are adults now.I have long waited to look upon the face of my grandchild.My thoughts drift briefly to the deserts of Vulcan, Mount Selyah, and I can recall with notable clarity the sensation of the hot evening winds on my face.While I do not experience emotions of the same magnitude as my colleagues, I am not immune to the effects of this day.Humans often mistake control for absence.I do, in fact, feel joy and pain; I merely suppress and contain them.I notice, however, that as I see the pure joy on the face of my oldest friend… I find my own joy slightly more difficult to contain._

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_NEELIX ~_

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_Wow!I've seen countless images of this planet since I joined this crew.But I find I am unprepared for the sheer beauty of it.It's easy to see why they're so drawn to it.It sparkles and glows as it pirouettes gracefully on the view screen._

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_This day has been a long time in coming.My heart is swollen with happiness.The kind of joy a man feels when he sees his loved ones long held dreams become reality.My mind races with the images of the events I am about to witness: tearful reunions, festive celebrations, little Naomi being scooped up into the arms of a father she has dreamed of meeting all her life.It will be a splendid sight indeed._

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_But to be honest, I am also struggling with my own selfish thoughts.This crew is the only family I have, Voyager the only home I know.Earth, lovely as it is, is as alien to me as it could possibly be.The decks of this ship are filled with precious memories.Sometimes, if I concentrate and really quiet my mind, I swear I can actually hear Kes's melodic laughter echo through the corridors.The thought of leaving that behind is almost too painful to bear._

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_I know my friends won't abandon me.Captain Janeway will do everything in her power to assure that I am happy on this planet, and I know I can count on any of them in a time of need.But… as I prepare to watch them reunite with their true families, I can't help but be afraid that they just won't need me anymore._

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_SEVEN OF NINE ~_

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_I once told Captain Janeway that Earth held no emotional significance for me, as I do not remember my time there any more than I remember my time on the Tendara Colony. I believe now that I was mistaken._

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_Since the captain severed my link to the collective, I have endeavored to reclaim my own humanity.This crew has afforded me countless opportunities to learn about… "Human nature" I believe Commander Chakotay called it.I am pleased to see the smiles on their faces at the sight of their home world.It has been an arduous journey.Now it all seems worth the losses they have suffered._

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_Species 5618 – humans.They are unique, resilient.I am one of them, yet I am not.I am uncertain where I will fit in on a planet that has never been home to me.I was born of the same flesh as they – yet I could not be more different.Even as I manipulate the buttons on this console, I see my two hands before me.One is warm and pinkish – human.The other is cold and gray, black metallic technology attached to the no longer human flesh – Borg.I am Borg.No, I was Borg, now I am something else.Not completely human, yet no longer a drone – but some ill-fitting thing in between. I am a physical manifestation of everything that Terrans fear and despise.How will they react to one of their own who has spent the majority of her life defending the very thing that many of them have given their lives to fight against?_

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_I am unprepared for the sensations I am experiencing as we reach Earth.I am… I am afraid.Voyager has become my collective.We have united through necessity.And I have grown accustomed to this crew's daily presence in my life.The thought of not being near them is… unsettling._

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_I will attempt to make a home for Icheb and myself on this world, assist him as he attends Starfleet Academy until he one day resumes his journeys through space, and then I will be alone._

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_Images of a six-year-old child flash through my mind.Long blonde hair, her blue eyes wide in terror as she crouches in the corner."Hide, Annika!"That little girl was frightened, as I am frightened now.I can only hope that the humans on Earth will be as accepting as this crew has been.If they are not, my assimilation into this culture will, no doubt, be as painful as Annika's was._

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_THE DOCTOR ~_

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_Earth.It's bigger than I thought it would be.Oh, I've seen dozens of images of this planet.I'm even programmed with more knowledge of it than most humans will ever possess.But to see the real thing, well… it's a fascinating sight to say the least._

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_The captain looks so strong, almost immortal, as she stands before her crew.She's promised us this moment for seven years.That's how a lot of them see her right now – almost God-like.But not me.I know the frailties of the body that houses such a tenacious mind.The years of worrying, the plethora of battles with alien races we were never supposed to have met in the first place, the losses and death… each has taken a piece of her.She is old beyond her years, her body begging for rest.Insomnia, a voracious appetite for coffee, an extremely poor diet… this has been her life in the Delta Quadrant.She is far from immortal, in fact – she couldn't be more human.And I could not admire her more if she actually were a God._

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_I'm curious to see how the world will react to a sentient hologram.I have evolved beyond my programming.Perhaps they will see the progress I have made, the invaluable information I have learned, and I will be hailed as a hero.I imagine there will be a grand gala to celebrate my accomplishments and I can regale Starfleet Admirals and Commandants with my harrowing tales of life on this voyage of the damned.I can speak of the numerous times I've brought members of this crew back from certain death, not to mention the ingenious cures and treatment regimens I have created.Perhaps they will offer me a position at Starfleet Command._

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_Or… as Seven of Nine once said, perhaps I will be deemed obsolete and my program will be decompiled.Or even worse, what if they send me to join the other EMH Mark 1's who are, probably at this very moment, scrubbing plasma manifolds on some space station.It's absolutely unthinkable!_

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_I look over at Seven.She looks so vulnerable standing there staring at the image of Earth.She tries to hide her fear, but I can see it.She looks uncertain, conflicted, … and incredibly beautiful.We're kindred spirits she and I.Both trying desperately to overcome our perfunctory natures.Perhaps we will cling to one another now, two misfits in a society that may or may not want us.Perhaps we can make a life together.I would like that.Well, … a hologram or no, I can still dream can't I?_

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_B'ELANNA TORRES ~_

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_You know, it's almost funny.I mean, as the years have passed on this ship we've dropped most of the lines that used to separate us.Most of the time, I don't even think about who was Maquis or who was Starfleet._

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_We're just all one crew.But now, as I stand here looking at Earth, the real one – not a simulation or a holoimage, I am forced to remember where I came from.Because I guarantee you, the people at Starfleet Command have not forgotten._

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_The last time I laid eyes on this world, I was a criminal.My anger and discontent ruled my life.I joined the Maquis because I wanted a fight, but I stayed with them because I believed in their cause.So, needless to say, when I came around the ship, it was not exactly by my own choice.I was full of rage and hatred for everything Janeway and her uniform stood for.I was openly hostile toward her and she treated me fairly anyway.So, as time passed and life became routine around here, I slowly began to believe in her cause – Earth.It happened without me even realizing it.I learned to trust her, even feel affection and allegiance for her.I became part of the team, working with firm determination toward the same, unified goal of setting foot in the Alpha Quadrant again.I was doing it for her.I know that now.I guess I never really put much thought into what that meant for me personally._

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_Earth – it has never been my home.But it was Tom's, which means it'll be mine now as well.The truth is, I would live almost anywhere if it meant I could spend my life with Tom.I stare at the image on the viewer, and I realize… Admiral Paris is down there right now waiting to be reunited with his only son.What will he think of Tom's half Klingon wife?Former freedom fighter and enemy to the Federation. Will he accept me?Judge me for who I am now?For that matter, will any of them?Or will I be known as a traitor for the rest of my days?_

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_I shoot a quick glance at Chakotay, wondering if he's thinking about the Maquis too.But his dark eyes are firmly fixed on the captain.He's in love with her, it's obvious.And it may sound strange considering that I used to harbor some fairly strong feelings for him, but I'm really hoping that she'll let her guard down now that she's kept her promise and brought us home.I hope she'll return his love and maybe they can make a life together.That is, if he and I don't walk out that docking bay and go straight to prison._

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_TOM PARIS ~_

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_I can't believe it!I mean, I see it, but I just can't believe it.Despite the fact that it's right there in front of my eyes, I keep glancing at the sensor readings on my console.I've never been a skeptic, never shared the captain's love of science and need for black and white proof of every detail.But right now, I'm suddenly pretty grateful for the confirmation I'm getting from modern technology.It tells me I not dreaming this time.That's definitely Earth I'm looking at on the viewer._

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_To be honest, there were times on this journey when I wasn't so sure I ever wanted to see this planet again.There are a lot of old ghosts waiting for me down there.I made some really stupid choices in those days, and I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't been lost in another quadrant of the galaxy for all these years, I'd still be making them now._

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_But, I'm not the same guy I was then.I was given a second chance to become something I wasn't ashamed of.Serving under Captain Janeway has changed me.Falling in love with B'Elanna has changed me.Hell, Voyager has changed me – for the better.I think I have something to contribute to that world now._

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_I can't resist the urge to turn and look at the captain.I know I shouldn't.If she thinks anyone is watching her, she'll probably shove her feelings under her captain's mask and try to look unaffected.She deserves the emotions of this moment more than any of us.But I have to see her eyes.She has unbelievably expressive eyes.She has the power to make me feel as tall as Olympus Mons when I've done my job well, and lower than pond scum when I've let her down.All with one look from those eyes._

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_She catches me stealing a glance at her, but instead of turning away… she holds my gaze.A gentle smile spreads across her worry-worn face."We did it," her eyes say to me."No, Captain.YOU did it." I say back with mine._

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_I feel a soft touch on my shoulder, and I look up to see B'Elanna's pretty face, her human side so apparent right now.I think the reality of the situation just hit me.She's my wife!And we're home.Suddenly, I know that everything will be okay.I can make a life for us here because I know who I am now.I'm finally someone I can be proud of – someone my father will be proud of.And believe it or not, I can't wait to see him._

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_CHAKOTAY ~_

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_Earth.After seven long years of struggle, there it is on the view screen, looking just as it did the last time I saw it.We've seen countless M-Class worlds on our journey across the galaxy, but none so beautiful or pristine as this one.The one from which all human life originated, including my own ancestors whose bones rest beneath its crust._

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_I'm filled with indifference at the sight of it.The last time my footsteps fell on this world I was full of anger, rage actually.I was consumed with the need for vengeance, and with hatred for Starfleet.I felt betrayed.I spent most of my life serving them, and when I needed them in return – they turned a blind eye and my family died.Now, I stand here on the bridge of a Starfleet ship, second in command no less, and wearing with great pride a uniform I swore I would never wear again.And I know it's because of her._

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_Kathryn Janeway – she started out as my enemy, sent out to hunt me down and bring me to justice.But when we destroyed the array, she laid her weapons down and welcomed my people as her own.I've served at her side for seven years.And despite the dangers we faced, the battles and impossible odds, I have found peace here with her.The only peace I have ever known.I realized long ago that I'm not angry anymore, and that I love her more than the waking world._

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_We spend our off duty time together, quiet dinners in her quarters, and there are even times when she lets me hold her against my chest as we sit on her sofa and I listen to her talk about her fears or concerns.These are the ways that I have made her burden lighter, and found peace within myself.That's as far as we could take this relationship while we were in the Delta Quadrant.Her primary motivation had to be getting her crew home, and I understood.Maybe I even loved her more for her fierce determination._

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_And now?We aren't in the Delta Quadrant any longer.Earth might offer us promise for a future together.She might let me love her the way I want to now.Or, I might be prosecuted as a criminal and never see her again.Starfleet may choose to overlook the seven years my Maquis crew served them with honor.They might demand recompense, and if they do, I will face it with nobility because I fought for something I believed in.I fought for those who could not fight for themselves._

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_I stand and move to Kathryn's side, as I have done since the beginning.She looks up at me and I see the tears she's trying not to shed glistening in her blue eyes.Even deeper than that, I see the love she has for a crew made up of a bunch misfits and galactic vagrants, and I see the pride of a woman who has reached an unattainable goal.The feelings are intense for us all, but she feels them like no other because she is the captain._

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_I place my hand on the small of her back, intimate yet not inappropriate.In a single touch I offer her my support, my admiration, my love, and I know she understands."You did it, Kathryn," I say to her, surprised at the emotion cracking in my voice."You brought us home."_

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_KATHRYN JANEWAY ~_

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_I didn't realize until I looked at the image of Earth before me, that down deep, I never expected to see it again.It's like seeing the face of a dearly departed loved one again after so many years of mourning their passing.Unbelievable, even dream-like.But this is no dream.That's home I see on my viewer.We really made it home._

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_I'm on my feet moving closer to the screen, but I can't feel my legs as I walk.All I can feel is the lump in my throat, chocking with emotion I'm trying not to display.I know the crew is watching me, I sense their eyes on me as we enter orbit.I want to return their gazes, but I'm afraid that if I do, the tears I'm trying to contain will escape and I'll weep openly on the bridge of my ship._

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_My mind races with the possibilities that the next few weeks hold.Long awaited reunions, tearful celebrations… court martials, trials?I guess I had put the Maquis issues to the back of my mind.Chakotay, B'Elanna, and so many others, they're not Maquis to me anymore.They're Starfleet, they're my crew.Can I make Starfleet Command see that?Yes, I think I can.If I can bring a ship already considered lost for good across the galaxy in seven years when it was expected to take seventy, I can do anything.I have to keep this odd little family together._

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_I look again to the image on the screen.I swear I can almost see Starfleet headquarters.I am ready to step down and rest for a while.Ready to hand the reigns of command over to someone else for a change.Or am I?I've done things my way for seven years.It's been so long since I've had to answer to a superior, since I couldn't simply pull rank if I needed to, since I called anyone 'sir'.I've been the solitary captain for so long, I'm not certain I know how to be anything else._

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_The planet on the screen spins gracefully in its rotation, and I see the American continent – home.I can picture the fields of Indiana so clearly in my mind.I can almost smell the wildflowers.My stomach flip-flops as I think of seeing my mother and Phoebe again.I've missed them so much.My mind is awash with images of caramel brownies, talks on the patio with mom, long walks in the rain with Phoebe… and my dog.I wonder if Molly is still alive._

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_I smile slightly as the ridiculous realization hits me – I can have a dog now.I can have a home with a dog and a rose garden.I can have so many things I've had to deny myself.Pets, flowers, grass, … maybe even love._

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_Chakotay is standing beside me now, as he has done so many times before.It's like he can sense my thoughts, like he knows exactly when I need his strength and serenity.And I do right now.I look into his dark eyes, silently thanking him for his years of unquestioned devotion.I wonder if he knows that I couldn't have completed this journey without him.I wonder if he knows that I am terrified by the thought of spending my life without him.And I wonder if he knows that I still love him.I love him with a depth and steadfastness I have never known._

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_He has waited so long, patiently by my side taking whatever I offered and never pushing for more.Can we now have what we almost had on New Earth?Can we become lovers, life partners?Or have I pushed him away one to many times on this trip?_

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_I feel his hand on the small of my back.It offers support, respect.He is there to steady me, as he always has been.The look in his brown eyes answers my question without a trace of doubt.He still loves me.I can see it as plainly as if he'd said it out loud.And the tears well up in my eyes again._

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_"You did it Kathryn," he says softly."You brought us home."_

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_I know I shouldn't do it, but I can't resist the powerful urge I have suppressed all this time. I reach up and tenderly caress his cheek, the tears in his eyes making the breath catch in my throat."Where ever you are is home to me, Chakotay."_

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_I watch the realization of what I just said spread across his handsome face, and for just a moment, I forget that there are any other people in the universe.He circles me in his arms, and I go willingly, bringing my hands to his chest.I feel 16 years old again as his lips brush over mine.It was a tender kiss, chaste and gentle.But it held a promise of much, much more._

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_The cheers and clapping erupting on the bridge brings me back to the moment, and I offer a lop-sided grin to my blushing first officer.I know I should silence them, tell them that we're Starfleet officers and we don't behave that way.But I just kissed their commander on the bridge in the most un-Starfleet action I have ever committed.So I smile at them, shake my head in amusement, and simply say, "I take it they approve."_

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_"Well, it's about time!"The smart remark comes from Paris of course.No one else would have the audacity.Or the style to pull it off for that matter._

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_He expects a reprimand, or at the very least a "Shut up, Tom." from his captain.I surprise him when I say "It's the perfect time, Mr. Paris."_

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_I extend a hand to Chakotay, as I have done so many times before.As I did when I left to board the Borg cube not too many months ago.Only this time, it's different, it's a promise, and we both know it._

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_"Do you like caramel brownies, Chakotay?" I ask as I lead him to the turbolift._

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_A huge grin graces his full lips."I love them, Kathryn."_

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_Fini ~_

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Authors Note:Okay, okay!I know that Paramount's Janeway would NEVER do that.But this is my Janeway, and I can make her do what we all wish she would do on the show.If Paramount won't give me a happy ending (and I doubt they will) then I will make my own.

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